The Diary Fight Returns
by pinocchio
Summary: SEQUEL TO CONFESSIONS... The Diary Fight is back! After the Christmas break, The Marauders and Lily and her friends return to Hogwarts for the remainder of their seventh year, and many troubles and diary fights await them... please r&r...
1. Back to school

**A/N: I'm so sorry, I haven't updated anything since i got home because this story was deleted (for no reason) and so my account was locked. I haven't been able to do anything until now, so i wanted to re-post this story. **

**Disclaimer: i don't own harry potter, nor do i claim to.**

**The Diary Fight Returns.**

**

* * *

**

**2am, our dorm. The day that we went back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays. **

**James, couldn't you just have written 'At Hogwarts after the holidays'? Instead of the millions of words that you wrote?**

I didn't write millions of words. Just get over it.

**I don't want to. **

Sirius! Build a bridge and get over it!

**No. **

I'm ignoring you now. New topic.

…

* * *

Oh my god, I am so full. Why are the feasts so good all the time?

**I don't know. Don't ask me. **

You should know! You're the food freak!

**Since when am I a food freak? **

Since… I don't know. Just shut up Padfoot.

**I don't want to shut up. **

Just shut up Padfoot.

**No **

Yes

**No **

Yes

**No**

Yes Padfoot, shut your pie-hole!

**No I will not be silenced! I am here to stand up for the rights of… hang on, what were we talking about?**

I don't remember, food probably.

**Yes well, food is a popular topic in our conversations. **

That and Lily, quidditch, other girls and Lily

_You already mentioned Lily. _

I did not!

Uh, yeah you did prongs, you said her name twice. 

Shut up Wormtail.

Sorry, 

_Can you guys just be quiet and go to sleep? We have a potions test tomorrow._

**Geez, party pooper. **

Yeah. Fun sucker

_I'm not a fun sucker, but you guys were all so energetic and stuff on the train, and I am so tired. _

**Whatever. Fine we'll go to sleep. **

**…

* * *

**

Padfoot! 

**You rang?**

No I didn't. I called you. 

**Build a bridge and get over it. **

Hey! That's my saying!

**So, build a bridge and get over it. **

Shut up! That's my saying!

**Build a bridge and get…**

_Why don't you both shut up? _

**Why don't you build a bridge and…**

_Just shut it both of you! _

Just shut it both of you! 

_Don't repeat what I said. _

Don't repeat what I said. 

_Wormtail shut up. _

Wormtail shut up. 

…

* * *

Oi! Padfoot!

**What?**

Shut up!

**I didn't say anything**

You're snoring.

_Again. _

**No, no, you must be thinking of someone else. Maybe it's Peter, because The Great, Amazing, Sirius Black does not snore.**

_The Great Amazing Sirius Black?_ **That's me!**

Or not.

_Yeah, Sirius you shouldn't lie._

**I'm not listening to you. By the way, my new name is G.A.S.B**

What is that? 

**Great, Amazing, Sirius Black. Derr.**

I don't think so.

_Me neither._

Hmm. 

What's with the hmm?

Hmm. 

_Okay._

Hmm. 

_Right, you three are so strange._

Hmm. **Hmm. **Hmm.

_Oh my god. _

Okay we'll shut up now.

…

* * *

I LOVE LILY EVANS!

Hmm. 

**Shut up Wormtail we're over that now. **

Hmm. 

**Shut up. We already built a bridge and got over that, so shut up wormboy! **

I'm bored, it's now 2:30m and it doesn't look like we're going to get much sleep at all.

Hey what happened with you and Ellie? 

_We're back together. _

**I'm bored. Remus you're fat. **

_What?_

**I'm bored, so we're going to do fat jokes. **

_Count me out then. _

**James you're fat. **

Well, you're an elephant

**No, you're heavy**

You're a one tonne monster

**Nuh uh. You are obese.**

You're so fat that you put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean and used it as a waterbed.

**Haha! That's such a good one. I'm gonna use that!**

You're so fat that when you…

**James, we're over that now. **

Okay then. Nuh-night.

_Night. _

Hmm. 

Wormtail! Stop with the 'hmm'! Just go to sleep.

Good night. 

**Sleep tight; don't let the bedbugs bite!**

_Euurgh, I hate that expression. _

…

* * *

**10am, Tuesday morning, January 2nd. Gryffindor dorm. **

**Did the bed bugs bite you?**

_Shut up, I said I hate that expression. _

But they did bite me!

**Eww, too much information. **

It's too early to be awake.

It's ten o'clock. 

_We missed breakfast, and half of potions. We're going to get a detention now guys. _

**Oh well. **

It's still too early.

Have any of you guys ever gone to France? 

**Yes. **_Yes. _Yep!

_Why?_

Because Hogwarts is doing an exchange thing and I might be going on it. My parents think it would be a good idea. 

**Yes, but your parents also think that James and I are a bad influence, so obviously they're crazy.**

Derr.

My parents aren't nuts! 

Peter, they think that we are a bad influence on you, of course they're nuts.

Oh, okay. 

**And his mother wears horizontal stripes with polka dots. I mean, hello? Where is your fashion sense?**

Sirius, how long have you been gay?

**What? I'm not gay. **

Then why did that sentence sound very very gay?

**It didn't sound gay.**

Yes it did.

**No it didn't **

Yes it did

**No it didn't times infinity**

Yes it did times infinity plus one!

**No it didn't time infinity plu---**

_Don't start that again, I'm sick of the diary fights, you've had like a million since we came back to school._

**Nuh uh. That's a lie. Lying is bad. Build a bridge and get over the diary fights, they're fun. **

STOP USING MY SAYING PADFOOT!

**IT'S NOT YOURS.**

_STOP WITH THE MILLIONS OF DIARY FIGHTS._

You shouldn't lie Remus. Your nose will grow really long, like that Peanut dude.

_Pinocchio?_

That's the one!

* * *

**a/n: there's the first chapter, please review! Because when it was deleted, all the reviews were deleted too, so please review!**

**signing out, **

**pinocchio.**


	2. I'm leaving

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter,**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**chapter two**

**

* * *

**

**Potions dungeon, before the test. 10am **

Where's James?

_How are we supposed to know?_

Well, he's going to miss this test if he doesn't hurry up.

_Knowing him, he would have probably stayed up all night planning pranks. I would do that if I was allowed to, but Emma has very strict rules. _

**I need my sleep; otherwise I get moody. **

_We know. _

There he is!

_You two act like an old married couple, it's weird. _

Shut up! We do not.

**I hate to say this, but she's right Lils. It's not weird though; we all knew it would happen. **

You did?

**Yeah, we all had bets, Ellie ended up winning forty galleons. **

_Yep, I did, I put it towards my new broom. A swish 1000, it flies so smoothly, I think James got the same one for Christmas, his parents probably felt guilty about leaving him or something. _

I can't believe you guys were betting to see when we would get together.

**The Marauders just arrived; do you reckon they'll get a detention? **

Nah, the Slug loves them too much for being Marauders, he'll just laugh and invite them to a Slug Club party. Oh shoot, we have to go to one of those tonight.

_I don't! I have double detention! Yay. _

**Lucky, who with? **

_The first hour is with Hagrid, but knowing him we'll probably end up drinking butterbeer the whole time, he's a good bloke that one. Then the second hour is with Professor Dickey. She'll probably make me tell her all my dreams since I was 3 months old, and then she predict a bunch of crap about how I'm going to die with and orange in my mouth and a sock coming out of my ear. _

**Nah, she'll probably try to think of something more radical than that. **

Haha, yeah.

_Then I'll just make up a bunch of stuff, and then I will laugh at her stupidity, and then I will get in trouble for making fun of something that is not a laughing matter. Then I will sneak out of detention, while she goes to make tea. Then I will go down to the kitchens and steal some fire whiskey, I will get even more drunk and then I will stumble into bed at about 12am._

Sounds like fun?

**Yeah. **

**

* * *

**

**2pm, Charms. **

That test was so easy. Slughorn is too soft on us.

_Definitely, did he invite you to another party?_

Yeah. You?

_Yeah, where's Emma?_

She's bludging; she wanted to go to the owlery.

_Oh, okay. _

Hang on a minute; my rat won't swim properly.

…

That's better.

_I'm surprised you didn't get it on the first go; you're normally so good at charms. _

Yeah, but I didn't get much sleep last night because Emma and Sirius were in the common room, making a lot of noise.

_Why weren't they in the Gryffindor common room?_

As if, you guys always use James and my common room instead, you all sleep there at least three nights a week.

_True, but it's your fault, you always tell us the password. _

Yeah, I should stop doing that.

_And if you don't, James does. _

_

* * *

_

**I'm back; do you reckon Professor Lockley noticed I was gone? **

Yeah, you have a detention tomorrow after dinner.

**Oh shit, can this day get any worse? **

_Worse?_

**Yeah, I just got an owl from my parents. **

So?

**They said I have to go on the exchange to France. Which means I have to go there for two months, while some other girl from France comes and lives here, in our dorm. **

_That sucks! No you can't go. _

Yeah, why would your parents do that?

**Because I've never been to France and they want me to learn about other cultures. So I'm leaving in four days. **

Four days?

_That sucks!_

**I know. **

Can't you make some kind of compromise with your parents?

**Nope, they found out that I was dating someone from the Black family and now they want me to be far away from him. **

I'll let youtake Shelby with you, and then we can owl each other and stay in touch.

**You sure? **

Yeah, of course.

_Can I tell you something?_

**What? **

_This sucks._

****

Ellie, where are you going?

_Away. _

**What about your rat? It hasn't started swimming yet. **

_I don't care about the fucking rat._

…

* * *

**She is pissed off. **

No derr, you guys have been best friends since you were like three.

**Since her parents died. I wish my parents would die. **

Emma! You don't mean that.

**Maybe I do. **

No, you don't.

**Oh my god! No Sirius for two months! **

**Maybe I'll just go and kill myself. **

Emma, stop it, you're freaking me out.

**Don't worry; I'm not that stupid, I'm just a bit depressed at the moment. I'm going to go and sulk now. Bye Lils. **

Geez, that kind of darkens the mood a bit.

* * *

**a/n: please review. **

**signing out, **

**pinocchio.**


	3. Belle Delacour

**A/N: aah, i have nothing to say, that never happens. this is so weird. **

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**chapter three**

**

* * *

**

**8pm, Head's common room. **

Good news! 

What is it?

Guess. 

I don't want to guess.

_You have to! That's why I said guess what!_

Well, I think that is stupid and lame!

Too bad. Moony and Padfoot, you guys guess! 

**Okay! You sprouted another head and you're about to receive a lethal injection. **

_No Padfoot, that's not good news, and even if it were you'd already know if he had another head. _

**I think that's good news. **

_Well it's not._

**Yes it is **

_No it's not_

**Yes it is**

_No it's not_

**Shut up Moony, I already won. **

_No you didn't. _

**Yes I did! **

Oh my god, stop with the diary fights!

_Oh! That's a bit rich, coming from you! You're a hypocrite. _

Don't scoff at me! Just shut up and listen to Wormtail.

Yeah, the good news is I don't have to go on exchange. 

**Why not? **

_You act as if it's a bad thing he's not leaving._

**It's not a bad thing. Why don't you have to go? Did they lock up your crazy mum? **

No, the French school, Beauxbatons is a school for girls only! 

**So you mean there will be a bunch of French chicks coming? **

Yeah. 

**Score! **

_Sirius, you have a girlfriend. Speaking of whom, here she comes. _

Why does she look so depressed? What did you do Padfoot?

**Nothing! I didn't do anything! **

**Diarecordium spell. **

"Hi Emma!" Sirius said enthusiastically, as he gave his girlfriend a kiss,

"Hey Sirius." She said,

"What's wrong? You look really upset."

"I hate my parents." She said,

"Why? What'd they do to you?"

"They're making me go to France for two months on exchange," she said, bursting into tears,

"Why?"

"Because I've never been there and I need to see the different cultures or something stupid. It's not fair Sirius, I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to go either." He said desperately, "Maybe your parents are joking or something, maybe they're just playing a joke?"

"No, they're serious, Sirius."

"Then I'll come with you."

"You can't, it's an all-girl school."

"Even better."

"Sirius."

"Sorry."

"That's okay. I wish you could come, but you can't."

"This is so unfair." Sirius said sadly, kissing her lightly on the lips,

"It's only two months, it's not that long, we'll use owls, and I'll come over at Easter!" he said, trying to think of a bright side, but it was very hard to do so, "How long till you go?" James asked,

"Four days."

**Diarecordium spell terminated. **

**

* * *

This sucks, I'm going to go and kill myself.**

_That's exactly what Emma said. _

Lily, why are you writing in my diary?

_Because Ellie stole mine to do her homework in. _

_Where is Ellie? _

_In our dorm. _

_I might go and find her. _

_Guess what I just found out. _

What?

_The French girl, who is coming to stay, is going to be living in my old dorm, Ellie is going to be living with her, I might move back in for a while to help her. We have to be her 'hosts', meaning we have to take care of her. _

But you don't speak French.

_Ellie does, we'll have to teach her basic english, hopefully she will already know a little. Anyway,I'll see you guys later, I have to go and find out what the girl's name is. _

**Bye. **

Seeya Lils.

…

* * *

Geez, how depressing is this? Emma is leaving for two whole months, and Ellie has to live with some French chick for two months, and she is going to have to translate everything for everyone till this girl learns English.

This sucks, that means that this French chick is going to muck up our group. Where's Ellie? I wonder what she thinks.

**Well, she's probably making out with Remus in the common room. She's probably very annoyed; she's very territorial. She won't like having some other chick treading on her turf. **

Three things Padfoot: 1. Don't use the expression 'treading on her turf.' It doesn't suit you, 3.Don't act soRemus-y, it doesn't suit you,and 2. Where did you learn that word?

**What word? **

Territorial?

**Remus gave me 'a word a day calendar.' **

Oh, is that the thing on your nightstand that says October 12th?

**Yeah, I haven't exactly pulled off the day in a few weeks. **

Try a few months. It's January the 25th.

**I don't care. I'm off mate, I'm going to go and jump off the astronomy tower. **

Okay man, you go do that.

…

* * *

I know he won't, he values his life too much and he's not that stupid. Maybe I'll go and prank Snape to make me feel better.

_Belle Delacour. _

What?

_That's the name of the girl coming to stay with us. _

Oh, okay. She doesn't sound like a snob, she sounds nice.

_James, you can't tell much from a name. _

You can actually. When I hear the name Lily Evans, I think 'she is a goddess!' and when I hear the name James Potter…

_Let me guess, 'he is a god?' _

You think I'm a god? Oh thanks Lily, you're so sweet.

_Whatever James._

**

* * *

**

a/n: okay, the next chappy should be up within the next few days, i've already written half of it. please review.

signing out,

pinocchio


	4. Saying Goodbye

**A/N: I know i haven't updated 'Switched' since I got back, but that's next on my list! I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible! But for now, hope you like this one!**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

* * *

**Chapter four. **

**5pm, the library. **

Mood - pissed off.

This is so unfair. I only found out that Emma is leaving like three days ago, and now she has to pack. She's leaving tomorrow morning, then we have to clean the dorm, and then in the afternoon Belle Delacour will show up. Ellie is in our dorm helping Emma, and I am here sulking. I told them I was going to see James, I actually was on my way to see him, but instead I came here. I don't feel like talking to James at the moment.

* * *

There's that guy, what's his name? Nathan Jacobs! That's it. He's pretty hot. He's Australian, like Ellie, and has blonde hair and blue eyes; he looks like a surfer. He's in Ravenclaw, I think. He just smiled at me, oh my god! Oh my god, what is wrong with me? I have the perfect boyfriend! He's coming over here! Why do I have goosebumps? 

Oh my god, he just said 'hey Lily' to me, why did I just get a shiver up my spine? How come he knows my name? What is wrong with me? Maybe subconsciously I have a thing for this guy. I don't! I know I don't.

It's like there's two of me, the Lily who knows she is being an idiot; and the Lily who likes him and wants to go out with him. The second Lily is in control and I don't like it! I'm confused!

**

* * *

**

"Um, hi Nathan." I said nervously,

"What's up?"

"Nothing much, I'm just looking for a book."

_I am?_

"Which one?"

_Now I've put my foot in it. _

"Um, not sure, one about the, er, development of um, the ruins of er, Karaqua?" I said,

_I just made that whole thing up. He'll think I'm a complete freak now._

"You mean a book on how the city of Karaqua was ruined?" he asked,

_That'll do!_

"Yeah, that's it."

"Oh, why do you need it?"

"One of my friends asked me to find it for something."

_LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE! _

"Oh. Anyway, what are you doing on Saturday?"

_Going to Hogsmeade with James and then saying bye to Emma before she goes to France._

"Nothing." I said,

_What is wrong with me? _

"Great, wanna come with me to Hogsmeade?"

_No, even though you're hot, I'm taken._

"Uh huh." I nodded,

_I hate myself. _

"Cool, Seeya then."

_I'm gonna die, what am I gonna do? _

"Bye Nathan!"

* * *

Oh my god, I hate myself. I really truly hate myself. I don't deserve a boyfriend like James. He's loyal, unlike me. Now I have a date with two hot guys, on the same day, at the same time. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 

_What are you going on about now?_

Er, nothing?

_Lily, you aren't very good at lying. Anyway, all I have to do to find out, is read what you wrote before anyway. Now spill._

Okay, basically, this is what happened. You know that really hot guy in Ravenclaw? Nathan Jacobs?

_The Aussie one?_

Yeah.

_Yeah, he is hot. _

Anyway, he just asked me out.

_So, you turned him down, right?_

Not exactly. It was like I was possessed or something.

_Sure. _

Don't you roll your eyes at me! It was like I was one of those bimbo Barbie girls who follow James all over the castle.

_Whatever Lily. I can't believe you're going to cheat on James. _

I'm not!

_Lily, you shouldn't be doing this. _

I know! I didn't want to.

_Lils, there is something really wrong with you. I really don't feel like talking to you right now. _

**Hey Lils. I'm all packed. What's going on? Where did Ellie go? **

**Lils? **

…

* * *

**January 17th, 10am. **

**Well, I'm off to France, unfortunately. These words will be the last I will write in this diary for two months. Ooh, chocolate! Yumbo! Excuse me while I steal and devour these chocolates. **

**… **

**Done. Hey, I'm leaving; I have the right to take them. Anyway, we're getting off topic. I'll leave a message for everyone. **

**

* * *

**

**Lily: Uh, hey Lils. I dunno what was going on between you and Ellie yesterday, maybe you were having a fight or something. Let me tell you something, I don't think you'll win this one. I've known her thirteen years, and she has never lost an argument. She's too stubborn to let it happen, and living in that orphanage must have helped her come up with comebacks or whatever. She'll be pissed at you for a while, depending on what you actually did. Anyway, hope it's all blown over in two months when I get back! **

**Ellie: Try not to be too stubborn this time. Because if you are, you won't have anyone to hang out with for a while, only Remus and this Belle Delacour person. So you'll have to win this fight soon, okay? Whatever Lils did, I'm sure it's not that bad. Remember the time I borrowed your Steele Rock t-shirt and made a hole in it? Boy, you were pissed at me for about three and a half months! **

**I dunno if they were your chocolates that I ate, if they were, I'll buy you a box in France or something. I'll miss you heaps when I'm away. Bye! **

**Sirius: I don't really know what to write to you, because I already told you the other night. Mostly, what I want to say is that I'll miss you the most of all, because I love you. And I also love that shirt of yours that you gave me. It's a bit big, but I will wear it to bed every night! Love you Sirius. **

**James: Err, not sure what to say… I like your pants. And your rainbow shoelaces are cool. See you in two months. **

**Remus: Make sure Ellie and Lily's fight doesn't last too long. Stay well; I'll see ya in a while. **

**Peter: … **

**Bye guys, I'll see you on March the 17th.**

**

* * *

**

**Diarecordium spell. **

"Bye Em, I'll miss you." Lily said, hugging Emma tight as she waited to board the train. There was a group of about eighteen girls waiting to leave. All looking nervous and excited at the same time.

"Oh, I'll miss you too!" Emma said sadly, and then she moved on to Ellie, and hugged her,

"Bye Elles, see you soon. Oh, I'm going to sound like a broken record if I don't find another way to say goodbye!"

Ellie laughed, "Yeah, you will. I'll see you soon, make sure you bring me back some champagne!"

"I will." Emma laughed, as she let go and hugged James,

"Bye James." She said simply,

"Bye Em." He replied, she went to Remus and hugged him,

"Two months is not a long time Emma." He said, sensing her getting emotional and teary, the whistle sounded, signaling for her to get on the train,

"I know, but it's not fair." She cried, as she turned to Peter.

"Err, hi." She said, holding out a hand. Peter, looking hurt that she wouldn't hug him, shook her hand glumly, "Seeya Pete."

"Fare be well Emma." He said dramatically, she gave him a strange look before moving on to Sirius. She threw her arms around him and kissed him,

"I'm going to miss you so much Sirius, you have no idea."

"Yeah I do, it'll be the same for me."

"Torture."

"Mm hmm." He said, he kissed her one more time as the final whistle blew,

"Bye."

"Bye." He said,

Emma took her trunk and pulled it on to the train and moved to a compartment. She looked out the window and waved to them once more before the Hogwarts Express started moving.

**Diarecordium Spell Terminated. **

* * *

a/n: please review and tell me what you think!

signing out,

pinocchio.


	5. Dairy Flights!

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter,**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**Chapter five.**

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* * *

**

Woah, it's weird without Emma being here, eh?

_It's really no different actually, she never wrote in this diary._

Moony, I meant that it's weird not because she's not writing in this diary, but because she's not actually on the Hogwarts grounds.

_It's only been a day. _

**It sucks. **

We know.

**I don't want to talk about it. **

Okay, I can respect that.

What?

I can respect that. 

Um, Wormtail? Why are you talking weird?

I am definitely not speaking weirdly, I am speaking properly, which is not something I could say about you James. 

Since when do you call me James?

I have decided to call you James now, because I am trying to become an educated and learned and intelligent man. 

_Does he realize that all those words mean the same thing?_

Err, why do you want to be smart?

So I can acquire for myself a decent occupation with a decent wage. 

**Never going to happen. **

_Don't mind him Wormtail, he's just in a bad mood because his girlfriend ran away to France to go and drink champagne and make out with French boys._

**Shut up Lupin. **

_What job do you want Wormtail?_

I want to be the head of the bank of Gringott's. In addition, I must ask you not to refer to me as Wormtail; I would like to be known as Peter WormHeart Pettigrew! 

Wormtail, do you know that that name doesn't suit you and that you are not a goblin?

The name is Peter Wormheart Pettigrew,and your point is? 

_The head of Gringott's has always been a goblin, for thousands or years, as long as it has been open actually._

Oh well, that sucks, now I have to think of something else to be. 

So now you're back to Wormtail?

Yep, oh! I know what I'm going to be!

What?

A cleaner at St. Mungos!

_Oh, how very 'ambitious' of you. _

What are you going to be Moony?

_I'm not really sure. There's not many people who would hire a werewolf, too dangerous. _

That's stupid, you couldn't harm a fly. Consciously anyway.

_Yeah. What about you?_

Auror.

_Should have known. James wants to save the world or whatever. _

Padfoot?

**I want to be Superman. **

_What?_

**I want to be Superman. Do you have a problem? **

_Why do you want to be him?_

**Two reasons: 1, because he's cool and 2, because Lois is hot. **

_Right. You realize that he's a fictional character?_

**No he's not, he's real. **

_Well then, you might need a back up plan, in case someone else gets there first. _

**In that case, I'll be an Auror. **

Copycat.

**What? **

You copied me!

**I so did not! **

You so did!

**Whatever you reckon James, I'm not in the mood to fight, let's sneak into Hogsmeade and get drunk. **

Good plan.

**Err, James? **

Yah?

**What's with the shoelaces? **

Woah man, don't you go bagging my rainbow shoelaces.

**I'm sorry. **

You should be!

**Well I am! **

Good!

…

* * *

**Diarecordium spell. **

"Hey! Hey Plongsie!" Sirius laughed,

"Yesh Feetles?" he replied,

"Let's have a dairy flight!" he shouted,

"I would Feetles, but my dairy isn't here! Oh wait, yes it is!" he laughed, as he downed the rest of his seventh butterbeer, "Waiter! I mean, waitress! I need some more alcohol and some more stuff to make me drunk."

"Haven't you had enough?" she asked,

"No." he slurred, "I have only had seven b-bears and three firewhizzies. So get me more woman! Now!"

"Okay, sir. Coming right up. You didn't have to be rude." She muttered the last sentence as she left to get them more alcohol.

"Feetles!" Sirius shouted,

"Yes James?" James replied, they kept mixing up each other's names.

"Padfoot! We must have a dairy flight! Now!" he banged his fist on the table very hard, not feeling any pain he usually would have, because the alcohol had numbed him.

"I think the waitress was right." Remus said, "You two have drunk enough. Let's go back to the castle. Now."

"Excuse me, I have three things to say Rebecca," Sirius slurred, pointing at Remus, who wasn't bothered with correcting him, "1. We aren't half as drunk as we need to be, and B. you're not my mother; and 4. I forgot what I was going to say. Oh yeah, shut up."

"Whatever. Come, now. We're going."

"Okay!" James said, throwing thirteen galleons on the table and following Remus out the door, not realizing that he had seriously overpaid.

**Diarecordium Spell Terminated. **

**

* * *

**

That was fun guys; we should hang out more often.

_That's basically all we do, when we're not in classes and apart from pranking. _

**Nuh uh!**

Where did you guys go?

**To the Pig's Ass. **

_No, we went to the Hog's Head, because James and Sirius felt that they needed to become intoxicated to forget the fact that Emma left yesterday. _

**She did? Oh that's weird. She told me she had seven months before she left. She lied!**

_Padfoot, she didn't tell you that. _

**She did so! You want to fight me? Huh pal? Huh? Come on, let's dairy flight! **

_Right. _

On the topic of Emma, she wrote messages to everyone in Lily's diary, I found out while you were gone. Mine was nothing special though. 

**Gimmee! **

Sirius! I don't have them! Let me go!

**Oh, okay. Well I want to go and see what my message said.**

**

* * *

**

**a/n; what did you think? the whole 'dairy flights' thing came from something my friend said (lol BB) on msn one time, very funny.**

**please review!**

**signing out, **

**pinocchio**


	6. Meet Belle, she's a bitch

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter, sorry it's been a while since i updated, i was working on the 24th chapter of my round-robin story 'the final year'. **

**anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**Chapter six.**

**

* * *

**

Sirius wants to know what his message said.

Are you going to talk to me?

Ellie? Come on, this is so not fair.

I'll just duplicate his message.

Ellie! COME OFF IT! You're bugging me.

_I'm bugging you?_

Yes.

_Oh my god, you are so… eurgh what's that word._

What?

_You're the one who is going out with someone else on the same day she has a date with her boyfriend!_

I said I'm sorry! It's like I was possessed! What do you want me to do?

_Tell him you can't go out with him!_

I can't do that!

_And why not?_

Because I can't really resist him!

_Lily, surely you don't expect me to believe that. _

It's true!

_Whatever. I'm going to go and meet Belle. The Beauxbatons girls are coming today. _

I'll come.

_Whatever. _

_

* * *

_

Well, someone is a tad bit moody. Maybe it's that time of the month.

_Oh my god! The time of month when all girls turn into monsters? _

James?

_Yes? _

Why are you here? Writing in my diary?

_Because I want you to come with me when I go to see the French girls. _

Why?

_Because they are scary, and I want them to know straight off that I have a girlfriend, I am taken. _

Strangely, that makes sense. All right. Let's go.

****

****

**

* * *

Diarecordium spell.**

A line of girls trailed out of a carriage as another one landed on the ground next to it. Their perfect blue uniforms were un-creased and their small blue hats perched delicately to the side of their heads.

A large woman climbed out of the carriage with a clipboard,

"Katrine Luc, Alice Mackenzie." She called, Alice stepped forward as one of the girls in the blue uniforms gave her a dirty look,

"Charlotte Du Porte, Jemima Atkins." The giant woman said, as the girls walked off towards the castle.

"Belle Delacour, Elle Andrews." Ellie stepped forward, muttering to herself; 'It's Ellie, get it right!'

"Hi Belle."

"Salut." The girl said, she was like a model; she had long blonde hair and deep blue eyes,

"So you don't speak any English?" Ellie asked,

"I know a bit." She said with a French accent,

"Okay, so you know some words. So I will have to translate some stuff for you." She said, and then added sarcastically under her breath, "Great."

"I'll show you the dorms." She said, pointing to the castle,

"Dorms?" Belle asked,

"Oh yeah, er, les dortoirs."

Belle nodded, showing she understood.

**Diarecordium spell terminated. **

**

* * *

**

****

_Oh my god Lily. She is driving me crazy! _

So you're talking to me now.

_No, I think what you are doing is wrong, but I need to talk to someone who doesn't pronounce it 'ze!' _

Ok. What did she do?

_Well, when we reached the dorms, Belle was less than impressed, _

_"At Beauxbatons, we 'ave much beegger rooms, much more femineen." She said, _

_"Really, well we don't have our rooms very 'femineen' because Hogwarts is a co-ed school." I told her, _

_"Co-ed?" _

_"Unisexe." I translated, _

_"Oh, you 'ave boys 'ere?" Derr! _

_"Yeah, didn't you see them on the way in?" _

_"No, I was lookeeng at ze architecture and ze paintings. Zey were rather rude to me. Made a comment on my uniform." _

_"Really?" _

_"Yes. And I believe that you're uniform is worse than mine, you are weareeng a tie!"_

_"Some people have different views. You seem to know quite a bit of English, more than I expected." _

_"Well, my parents and ze rest of my family spend ze summer here, near ze British coast." _

_"Well, good for you." _

_"Yes eet is. I need to unpack my clothing before it gets creases." _

_"You do that. I'm going to go and talk to someone else now." I said, and then I vamoosed out of there as quickly as I could. _

Haha, so what is she like?

_I thought I just told you that? _

No, I mean what does she look like?

_Oh, well her hair is pinned back perfectly; it's dead straight. She's blonde, got blue eyes, she's tall, about 5"9. _

That's still shorter than you.

_Yeah, but I'm a giraffe, I'm like 5"11, and still growing. _

Anyway, you could make yourself look just like her, with your metamorphagus-ism. Is that a word?

_Dunno. It is now. _

Do it.

_Do what?_

Make yourself look like her.

_Oh, why?_

So I can see what she looks like.

_Oh, okay. _

_…_

* * *

Oh, I see what you mean. She is pretty.

_Mmm hmm._

Elle? 

_It's Ellie. _

Oh, pardon, but I need to have some mineral water. Will you show me the kitchen? 

_Sure, wait outside; I'll be down in a second. This is Lily, my best friend. _

Hello, nice to be meeting with you. 

_Go wait downstairs Belle. _

…

_Her English is not the best, but at least when she writes she doesn't say 'ze!'_

Yeah, wow, she has flawless handwriting.

_Wanna come Lily, please?_

Okay.

_…_

_

* * *

_

**Diarecordium Spell. **

****

"Well, zis school may be old fashioned, but at least the men are good-looking." Belle exclaimed,

"Yeah, they're all right." Lily said, as they passed the Marauders,

"He's cute." She said, pointing at Remus,

"Hand's off. He's mine." Ellie warned her,

"What about him?" she looked to James,

"Mine." Lily said,

"And him?" she asked about Sirius,

"He's Emma's. Just keep your grubby mitts off the Marauders. They are our territory, except for Peter, you can have him."

"Oh, okay." She said, sounding slightly offended, "By ze way, my 'mitts' are not grubby, and who is Emma?"

"Sirius' girlfriend." Lily said,

"Where is she?"

"France, with your friends." Ellie said,

**Diarecordium Spell Terminated. **

* * *

**a/n: Meet Belle. She's a bitch! Please review. **

**signing out, **

**pinocchio.**


	7. A bone to pick

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter, sorry about the late update.**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**Chapter seven**

**

* * *

**

So… have you guys seen the new girl?

**Who? **

The new girl. You know, the new girl.

_I think he means Belle._

Yeah, that one. The one who's living with Ellie and Lily. Lily's my girlfriend you know. She has been for five months.

_Yeah, but you split up for a month in between._

Yeah, well that doesn't count.

**I've seen her! She's hot. **

Who? Lily? Sirius, she's my girlfriend!

**No, the other one. Belle. She's hot. **

So you're saying Lily's not hot?

**She is hot!**

So you're digging on my chick?

**What? James! There's no way out of this!**

So you lied then!

**No, I'm not saying Lily isn't hot, and I'm not saying she is hot! I'm just saying that Belle, the new girl, is hot.**

_I think you're forgetting something._

**Come again? **

_You have a girlfriend._

**I do? Oh, I do! I remember, Emma Greed, I mean Greene! **

There is something wrong with you, Padfoot.

**Pfft, no there isn't. You always refer to Lily as Ellie. **

No I don't.

**Oh right. I just wanted to point out a flaw. Guess that wasn't one of the many you have. **

What? I don't have a lot of flaws.

**You do too! Just ask Lily; she'll list them for you. **

She will not! Lily is a very supportive girlfriend, and she loves me for who I am.

**She has been complaining about you all the time! **

She has not.

_You guys always have to make things so complicated._

Oh yeah, like you and Ellie don't have problems.

_We don't have as many as you and Lily, or Sirius and Emma. _

**All I'm saying is that Lily tells people about James' flaws. She advertises them to the world. **

**Emma and I don't have problems. **

_Oh yeah, and James is the king of Norway._

**What's Norway? James is a king? **

_Oh my god. _

Right. Well, I'm going to go and see about this!

_See about what?_

Lily telling people about my 'flaws'.

James, you don't have any flaws, you're perfect. 

Err, thanks Pete, that was a tad bit creepy. I'm gonna go now…

* * *

**Diarecordium spell.**

****

"Lily! I have a bone to pick with you!" James said, storming up to her, she was standing in the library, having a conversation with Homer Burns.

"No Homer, listen, you take the figweed and the Kinsley bush and you…"

"Let's talk about something else. You know what's a great topic, the topic of me. It's really very interesting."

"No, Homer, you asked me to help you with Herbology, I have a boyfriend."

"You have such pretty eyes, can I poke them?" he asked, ignoring her completely and creeping her out a bit,

"Um…"

"Keep your grubby mitts away from my flower Burns!" James yelled loudly, receiving a glare from Madame Pince.

"Your flower?" he asked confusedly,

"Yes, my Lily flower."

"Right, I'm going to go now. See you later Lily." he said, turning around and exiting the library.

"_Your_ Lily flower?" Lily questioned angrily,

"I have a bone to pick with you." James said,

"I am not yours!" she shouted, "Oh stop glaring Madame Pince!"

"You bag me out behind my back?" James yelled,

" You don't own me."

"Sirius said you do it all the time!"

"I can talk to any guy I want, when I want!"

"You're my girlfriend, you're supposed to support me in everything that I do!"

"You shouldn't be so over-protective!"

They were having two arguments at one time,

"You're _my_ girlfriend."

"You're too protective of me!"

"You're my girlfriend!"

"James! You need to be less protective, every time I talk to a guy, the next time I see him, he has bruises the size of Australia!" Lily said, "I'm not going to cheat on you, it's something I swore I would never do, and I'm going to stick to it."

"You blab my flaws to everyone! And by the way, James Potter has no flaws!"

"Well, at the moment I am able to think of a few."

"So you do tell people my flaws!"

"I might complain to Ellie and Emma sometimes when you are being a jerk, but other than that, I don't tell anyone!"

"I am never a jerk!"

"You are now!"

"You're meant to support me!"

"You're too protective!"

"You're _my_ girlfriend!"

"Well, not anymore!" Lily screeched, storming out of the library,

"Fine by me!" James yelled, realizing that quite a few students had just witnessed their break-up.

**Diarecordium spell terminated.  **

* * *

A/N: Sorry it's short, butI had major writer's block. That's whyI haven't updated anything else. But I'll do my best.

Please review.

signing out,

pinocchio.


	8. Afterwards

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter, i'm sorry i didn't update sooner, my life is hectic right now!**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**Chapter eight. **

**

* * *

**

How is it that James and my break-up spread so quickly? It only happened like fifteen minutes ago and already several people have come up to me asking if I think they have a chance with James, including two guys.

_How many have asked you out?_

Two.

_Who?_

Brock Harris and Jason Feldman.

_Eww. Jason Feldman? You know he once asked me if I would lend him a quill, and I asked why he needed mine when he had one in his hand and he said 'oh, there's a persistent boogie in my nose and I don't want to get my one dirty.'_

Yes, he's a twerp.

_What about Nathan?_

What about him?

_You have a date with him on Saturday. _

Oh shit, I do. Oh well, I'll figure something out.

_Like what?_

I don't know. James is bound to have another girl by Saturday, so why can't I?

_What? Have another girl by Saturday? Lils, is there something you're not telling me?_

You know what I mean, why can't I have another guy by Saturday?

_It would be fair but I'm still against it. _

Okay. How are things with Belle?

_She's good, she said she understands some English; she exaggerated a bit. She knows a few phrases, but she can't really pronounce them or read them very well. So Dumbledore asked me to give her lessons, as if she isn't already a pain in the butt, now I have to teach her English. _

Not to mention she forgets everyone's names.

_Except Sirius._

Yeah well we'll have to keep our eye on her when she's around him, Emma will not be pleased if she finds out some model-type French girl has moved in on her guy. Does Belle even know that he has a girlfriend?

_Yeah, but I think she has decided to forget that piece of information. I hate to say it, but I think she's used to getting what she wants when it comes to guys._

What do you mean?

_Well, I think she's a veela, or at least partly so. _

How do you know?

_When my parents were alive, they took me on holiday to France a few times. We stayed in this really nice hotel in Nice, and her Uncle William Delacour owned it. I remember her and her cousin prancing around the place as if they were the royal family. At this time I didn't even know they were magic too._

How does that explain how you know that she's a veela?

_Just wait, I'm getting there!_

Sorry.

_Anyway, her Aunt Katrine was always strutting about the place like a snob trying to make everyone look at her, even my dad. I was an only child and I had to entertain myself while my parents were in the dining room, so one night I decided to go right up to the top of the building, so I ran up all the flights of stairs in the fire escape. _

How many were there?

_Thirty-three_

That's your idea of fun?

_I was seven years old; I had too much energy. So anyway, I got to the top of the building and walked along the small corridor and when I reached the end, I saw that the door to the penthouse suite was slightly open. I saw Belle and Katrine sitting on the bed and Belle was saying, '__Ainsi vous faites les hommes comme vous ainsi ils vous donnent tout__?' _

_And Katrine said, 'Oui chéri, comment me pensez-vous avez obtenu l'homme le plus riche à Nice?'_

_'Et vous m'enseignerez ceci?' Belle asked, and Katrine nodded, _

_In English that basically means that belle said, 'so you make the men like you so they give you everything?'_

_And Katrine said, 'Yes darling, how do you think I got the richest man in Nice?'_

_'And you will teach me this?' Belle asked. _

Oh, right. Well then she probably is a veela, we'll need to watch her.

_Derr!

* * *

_

**_Ellie? _**

_What?_

**_No need to be rude. We is needing to go and learn some more English now. _**

_Yeah, you can go and I'll meet you down there in ten minutes. _

**_All right, I will see you by the beech tree near the lake. _**

_The beech tree? We normally go to the library. _

**_Yes, but the nice looking boys are sitting near beech tree. We must flirt with them no? _**

_No! They are not free to be flirted with; they are _our_ boys. _

**_Exactly, no one else but us! _**

_Not you, they are Lily's, Emma's and my boys._

_**Oh, ****fermezla bouche ****Ellie! I'll see you down there. **_

**_…

* * *

_**

_She just told me to shut my mouth! _

We all know she's a bitch.

_So she can write pretty good English but she can't manage to speak it! She is going to drive me bananas!_

Don't worry you only have to put up with her for another six weeks.

_Six weeks! I may as well go and hang myself now! Goodbye cruel world!_

_

* * *

_

**a/n: now don't bag my french, it's a little rusty so i'm not too sure if the phrases are correct... oh well!**

**please review. **

**signing out, **

**pinocchio**


End file.
